I'm feelin' the quotes today

This whole article about whether America's up to the challenge of Brokeback Mountain is actually chock-full o' good lines.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10017716/site/newsweek/

"If you have a problem with the subject matter, that's your problem, not mine," [James] Schamus [producer of Ang Lee's films] says. "It would be great if you got over your problem, but I'm not sitting here trying to figure out how to help you with it."

It's my official New Year's resolution to have that attitude about everything now: It would be great if you got over your problem, but I'm not sitting here trying to figure out how to help you with it.

Never enough Jake

This interview is conducted pretty much the way I would do it, except there would be longer pauses while I stared deeply into his eyes, refusing even to blink since it would be a momentary loss of vision.

Interviewer: I've seen your butt at least twice this year.

Seren's Rob-the-Cradle-Boyfriend (that's Mr. Gyllenhaal to the rest of y'all): I respect that people are interested in that. I'm flattered by it. But I hope there are more important things in the stories that they're moved by.

"More important"? Doubtful.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10509918/site/newsweek/

Why I read gossip

Because once in a while, it's worth plowing through breathless updates on Britney Spears (apparently, having a second baby to "strengthen" her marriage) to find gems like this:

When reporters asked Matthew Broderick if wife Sarah Jessica Parker gets jealous of his relationship with this “Producers” co-star Nathan Lane, Broderick quipped, “No, she likes me to have my other life. My dark, gay showbiz life.”

Priceless.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9916574/

To stay with the TomCrazy theme

"Jump the couch" declared best new slang of 2005.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10650547/

I Can't Believe We Missed This!

Seren and I have been so busy celebrating our December birthdays and traveling for the holidays that we missed this nugget of horrific fun: Kate (not Katie) Holmes' 27th birthday bash in NYC.

http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/hotgossip5

I've had some interesting birthdays that ended up being great, but how in the world is ice skating when you're six months pregnant in sleet and rain any fun?

Bollywood Drama -- Not in Theatres!

If things don't calm down over in India, I'm going to need to up my anti-anxiety meds. Seriously.

They say that Amitabh Bachchan is recovering, though still in ICU, but last week, it seemed pretty touch and go. He may be fine, but I'm still feeling a little shaky.

http://www.financialexpress.com/fe_full_story.php?content_id=111232

And now, Saif Ali Khan hits a boy with his Toyota Landcruiser, gets the boy to a hospital, and turns himself in to the police. I know. I don't know what to say -- Saif Ali Khan drives a Toyota Landcruiser. I don't know when the shock is going to wear off.

http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=83771

All I can say is, Bollywood, simmer down now.

A Chapella

Comedy Central to air the entrails of the now-clearly-over Chapelle Show.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10337064/

This year has been a serious bloodbath for the shows I love. Arrested Development. Chappelle Show. Gilmore Girls.

Oh, Gilmore not cancelled, you say? To which I say, If only we were so lucky. We would have been spared RobotRory, spared Paul Anka the dog in every episode, spared the latest, greatest insult to our trust in the Palladinos: Luke's daughter. I think we should all agree to maintain the fiction that the show ended two seasons ago. Just rewrite the ending of that season -- oh, look, Rory went off to Harvard! and everyone's happy, happy! and the show ends. I know that it would seem to mean that we would have to give up our weekly dose of Lauren Graham, but if the show would just end, Lauren could go on to be in the Palladinos next show which, in an ideal world, would not involve adolescents inconveniently outgrowing the show's premise, or stunt dogs, or Logan. Believe me, we'd all like that show much, much better.

Not to get all Brokeback Mountain on ya

But I'm finding it a little sad that neither Matt Damon nor Ben Affleck attended each other's weddings. I mean, remember when they were BBF? Remember when their "fishing trips" included the Academy Awards? All this talk about other breakups, and nobody seems to even notice the tragedy that is the golden boys' growing apart.

In other news, I'm feeling a little catty about Matt's new wife, but not as catty as MSNBC, who's all "Oscar winner marries former bartender."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10398513/

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

This just in from mean and catty aspirant, Tea:

Oh jeeze, Paris does it first and then they all copy her? First Kimberly, now Nicole. Give me a break! I can just hear my mother saying "if all your friends jumped off a bridge, whoops, I mean, called off their premature, silly, twenty-something engagements, would you do it too?" The answer, apparently, is yes. That Paris, what a trend setter.

Nicole Richie, Fiance Call Off Engagement

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/ap/20051207/113402466000.html

You know, I'm actually a little sad. I thought those crazy kids would make it. Or maybe I just like Nicole's hair. Love of hair, however, does not explain why I'm a little sad about Nick and Jessica. I so do not love her hair or his.

Christmas come early

Britany decided to give herself the gift of self-respect.

http://tv.zap2it.com/tveditorial/tve_main/1,1002,271989751,00.html

Has NOBODY watched Mommy Dearest?

Parents and/or parenting is normally, in my book, a good thing. Hollywood, stop horrifying me.

Brad Pitt to adopt Jolie's children. Which is so weird, because it's not like they're dating.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,17900,00.html?tnews

Everything's coming up...violets?

Bennifer II welcomes their newest addition, baby girl Violet.

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,17885,00.html?fdnews

As far as celebrity baby names are concerned, this isn't too bad, but it does produce a certain amount of shrinking. (Shrinking? Get it! Ha) The only Violet I know was a lesser known character from Peanuts who disappeared in the 50s and later was morphed into another character whose name I can't remember.

Violet Affleck. Let's hope the kid inherited Mom's last name as a middle name.