Introducing the Aaaah! Oooh! Aaaahs!

I'd like to make this the inaugural post of a new feature I've been writing in my head ever since a Facebook quiz assigned me a frickin' twelve-year-old as my celebrity boyfriend.

All valid questions about the wisdom of taking seriously anything Facebook quizzes have to offer, and all insinuations about my protesting too much aside, let's face it: I am old. Srsly. When I was a kid, I used a rotary phone to call the time. Because my pet eohippus needed to know whether he was late for the Renaissance. OLD, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

But even the aged need celebrity boyfriends. They just need age-appropriate ones.

Thus: Age-Appropriate Objects Of Affection. AAOOAs. (Pronunciation above.)

Men in their 30s. Sexy men. Smart men. Clever men. Men who DO things with their time, or at least seem to, and have things to talk about, or things to not talk about. Men. Who are not boys.

Men who are my celebrity crushes. Perhaps, one day, they may be yours.

#1 Dylan Moran
#2 Alexander Skarsgard
#3 Luis Tosar
#4 Duncan Jones (coming soon)
#5 Chiwetel Ejiofor (coming soon)
#6 Peter Dinklage (coming soon)
#7 ...