Inconclusive

More news on Heath Ledger. At this point, the autopsy is inconclusive, and it sounds as if they're waiting on lab results.

This story says "accidental" a lot. At this point, isn't it really just some macabre game of assessing which is the more tragic scenario? Yesterday, the bandying about of the term "drug-related" cast it in the addiction direction, but there were also mentions of suicide, which just left me hollow inside. And now, potentially, an accidental overdose of sleeping meds?

I'm having a hard time figuring out which is the sadder inheritance for Matilda.

A friend yesterday argued that she wasn't old enough to know him and so she won't remember him enough to lose him. But she's two (thanks for the correction, LLA!). I know I'm a freak, but I remember things from when I was two. There are base level memories of her father that she'll have, that she won't even have words for. And even if she didn't remember a thing about him, she'd still have this narrative she'd have to figure out, wrap her growing mind around: I had a father, my father died. All that grief will always be a part of her.

And Michelle -- my God.

I know I don't know these people, but this one, this story, just hurts. I remember when River Phoenix died, and I found myself thinking, So this is how people felt when John Lennon was shot. Between this, Benazir Bhutto, and the freakin' election, my emotional ass is officially kicked right now.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!

Heath Ledger?!? Heath ... Ledger?

I don't even ... WHAT?!?

I'm just in pain for his daughter. Is she even a year old?