Inconclusive

More news on Heath Ledger. At this point, the autopsy is inconclusive, and it sounds as if they're waiting on lab results.

This story says "accidental" a lot. At this point, isn't it really just some macabre game of assessing which is the more tragic scenario? Yesterday, the bandying about of the term "drug-related" cast it in the addiction direction, but there were also mentions of suicide, which just left me hollow inside. And now, potentially, an accidental overdose of sleeping meds?

I'm having a hard time figuring out which is the sadder inheritance for Matilda.

A friend yesterday argued that she wasn't old enough to know him and so she won't remember him enough to lose him. But she's two (thanks for the correction, LLA!). I know I'm a freak, but I remember things from when I was two. There are base level memories of her father that she'll have, that she won't even have words for. And even if she didn't remember a thing about him, she'd still have this narrative she'd have to figure out, wrap her growing mind around: I had a father, my father died. All that grief will always be a part of her.

And Michelle -- my God.

I know I don't know these people, but this one, this story, just hurts. I remember when River Phoenix died, and I found myself thinking, So this is how people felt when John Lennon was shot. Between this, Benazir Bhutto, and the freakin' election, my emotional ass is officially kicked right now.