Those darn acceptance speeches

It was a difficult choice when it came to TV watching last night: 24 or the Golden Globes ? Ultimately, 24 won most of the 8pm-10pm slot, peppered with the Golden Globes during commercials, but the stuff I did see during the Golden Globes were enough to tide me over until next year.

Having been to at least one media awards banquet, I'm hardly the expert, but I do know enough to imagine what the Golden Globes are like: A big excuse to get drunk and say what you dare not say otherwise, with the convenient excuse of hey, it's the Golden Globes! It's GG! We sit at tables full of liquor instead of a stuffy auditorium! Hey, it's supposed to be the informal, let loose awards show!

Yeah. Whatever.

I'm willing to bet one year's salary that it's still a kiss ass fest combined with constipated nerves, complete with the strain of, "Did I come off as funny or as a jerk?" or "Was I too saccharine or insipid or just suave?" Stuff that runs through one's head daily in this business, only on a grander scale with liquor and fancy clothes. I did say once my "devil" wear Armani, only he's not a devil anymore, more mischievous gremlin. A suave gremlin.

Anyway, that said, my three favorite moments of the evening had some nerves, lots of class and a certain, yet respectful "fuck you" that most in the entertainment business would appreciate.

1) America Ferrera wins Best Actress in a Television Musical or Comedy. America experienced her own Betty moment after her teary speech as she stood awkwardly beside Maria Menudo, waiting for Maria to finish her commercial promo. America realized she shouldn't be in line sight of the camera, so she moved, only to have Maria pull her back and ask her a series of stupid questions. Maria is lucky America was nice enough to stop and talk to her. I would've kept walking, and later claiming I didn't know I was supposed to stop! Oopsie! :)

2) Meryl Streep wins Best Actress in a Movie -- Musical or Comedy. To be honest, I enjoy Meryl's work, but I was never one to fawn over her. But last night, with her witty speech and decidedly classy yet "I'm going to do whatever I damn well please" attitude, I became smitten. Smitten!

3) And now for the man whom I really adore: Sacha Baron Cohen. BEST ACCEPTANCE SPEECH EVER! Here's a part of it:

"This movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America but I saw some dark parts of America. An ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian...

When I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, I'd better win a bloody award for this.

And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice. Death, or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years. Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today. Thank you."

Oh my god. How can you not love this man?! 24 may get my heart pounding with its suspense and all that, but the Golden Globes? Serious heart pounding for America, Meryl and darling Sacha.