Monday, October 30, 2006

It was bound to happen...

...but still I'm actually sad. I was rooting for these two, ever since Reese met Ryan at her 21st birthday party and drunkenly slurred, "Are you my birthday present?"

Reese and Ryan are splitting up

The article says no specific reason was given as to why their marriage is ending, but I'm betting it was because Ryan was tired of being Mr. Reese Witherspoon. However, I really believed him when he said he was happy for his wife's success...Unless that was some damn good acting and in that case, give Ryan an Oscar!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Uh, finally!

Seriously, how long does it take to apologize?

Isaiah says he's sorry. Shonda is sick of talking about it and has moved on.

As confirmed by several other gossip sites and by my own informants, Isaiah is not the easiest person to get along with on set (the word pride was thrown about), so the late apology is not surprising. That's too bad because I like Burke. As Seren and I agreed last night, Burke alone is not interesting but Burke with Christina rocks. That alone negates any reason Isaiah has to be be grumpy at work.

"How hard is it to show up to work and make out with Sandra Oh? Not hard," Seren says.

Wise woman, that Seren.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The invitation must still be in the mail

TomKat to wed November 18th in Italy.

Tragically, I'm busy that day. My calendar clearly says, "November 18: LOOK THE OTHER WAY."

Monday, October 23, 2006

Seriously, it could've been worse

Queen Elizabeth as a Cabbage Patch doll

Sure, I used to hate the doughy-faced suckers and wanted nothing more than to drop kick them across the muddy football field and I'm totally a My Little Pony girl, but if I had to choose over being depicted as a doll from a leafy vegetable or as, I don't know...Satan, I would choose the doll.

Props to the snark when the props are due

Television executives are guilty of many things (I'm looking at you, NBC with your Studio 60 on the kill it, already! just kill it! it saps my will to live and I only watched two episodes! Strip).

Once in a while, these things include a wry and pithy remark that encapsulates all these illustrious television decision-makers should be feeling so guilty about. This one comes care of Stephen McPherson, ABC:

[A]mid a discussion of how hard it is to draw viewers into new programs, McPherson joked that ABC might take a cue from CBS. “’Grey’s: Miami’ is coming,” he quipped.

It's no mea culpa, but it's a start.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Of course I saw this

A few folks have emailed me about T.R. Knight today. I didn't realize my George love was that well known, considering I'm a relatively new fan to the show.

Thanks to all those who emailed me, my fellow George admirers.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Quelle suprise

Tim Burton has cast Helena Bonham Carter as one of the leads in his upcoming movie adaptation of Sweeny Todd. Everyone act shocked now.

And I sigh.

I count myself as an admirer of Helena, ever since her Lady Jane debut and that issue of Seventeen where she wore stripey purple and black stockings and complained about having to comb her hair in the mornings. (When Helena and Tim got together as a couple, I knew that I had that article to thank for some of the feeling of "Oh, that makes sense," that I had about them.) Other reasons to love her? Her Merchant-Ivory phase. Room with a View AND Howard's End? I mean, really, top that.

You would imagine that I would have hit a rough patch in my pro-Helena position right about the time she was the other woman in the Kenneth Branagh-Emma Thompson breakup. But thanks to some Internet scuttlebutt and having met someone who'd met someone who'd worked with Ken (apparently, two words: ass hole), I was able to get past blaming the woman for the adultery and assign responsibility firmly to Mr. Branagh. (Which is why I know that he's made films since Frankenstein, but I haven't gone out of my way to see them. It's hard for me to get past the spitting scorn I feel for the man who mistreated Emma Thompson. Wasn't there a musical somehwere in there?)

So, you would think that, given my ability to forgive Helena for her involvement in that particular moral debacle, I would be able to get beyond her proceeding to break up Tim Burton and Lisa Marie. Who you ask is Lisa Marie, other than Tim's ex? I only know because I think it was some issue of Premiere that convinced me I should know her, by featuring her in a suitably gothic layout with her now-ex-enamorata. Did Lisa Marie make Henry V at age 25? She did not. So far as I can remember, Lisa Marie's primary claim to fame is that she either luckily looks like she was drawn by Mr. Burton or transformed herself accordingly upon beginning to date him.

The point is -- Ken had Shakespeare and his ego to keep him warm at night, and Emma had Austen and Greg Wise and her lovely child and the good opinion of millions to cuddle up to. Lisa Marie? I vaguely have some memory that, post-Burton, she dated a Quaid. (Am I just making stuff up now? Probably.) The point is -- this particular break-up struck me as unfair. Not to mention that it smacked of a repeat offender: like seriously, H., couldn't you for once take up with the grip on set? The cinematographer seems to be turning out beautifully for Julia.

Worse than any of these off-screen shenanigans, however, is the fact that -- I propose this almost blasphemously -- Helena doesn't really seem to shine in Tim's movies. I know the equation should be Crazy Animator Goth + Quirky British Goth = Awesome, but for me, it just doesn't. During pretty much every Burton-Bonham Carter collaboration, I find myself imagining other actresses in the roles -- the mistress in Big Fish (though, way to put that out there, kids), the mother in Willy Wonka, one of the apes in the Planet of the Apes remake. Other actresses who would, for example, base their performances on more than their obvious joy that they are beautiful women wearing funny teeth.

I love her. I do. I just can't think of a Helena Bonham Carter performance in her Burton phase that I don't describe with qualifiers and excuses.

So, you can imagine that I find myself sighing now. Sigh.

Edited to add: I was promptly reminded by concerned parties (Pari) that I had perhaps overlooked the brilliance of Helena in The Corpse Bride, which I concede. I do ask, however, will Sweeney Todd be stop-action and co-directed by someone other than Burton, as Bride was? Because then I might be appeased.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Child services on speed dial

Jonathan and Victoria, the Ike and Tina Turner of The Amazing Race's Season 6, are now parents.

How badly do I think this child will fare with these two as guardians of her well-being? I think she'd be better off at Suri's place. Or, to put it another way, if Madonna wants to snatch this one, more power to her.

Friday, October 13, 2006

New this season: The Gaultier onesie

Remember when Madonna used to set trends? Like, remember when we all just rushed out and bought satin cone bras and got knocked up by our personal trainers and then killed the careers of promising British filmmakers? Good times.

But no more. Nowadays, trying so hard to keep up with the Jolie-Pitt kid count, Madonna's not even waiting for a kid to become an orphan before she bestows the "benefits" of a celebrity upbringing.

OMG, Madge, haven't you heard? Acts of imperialism in Africa are soooo five minutes ago.

Trying to care


Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Next on Grey's: Surgeon v. Surgeon

Rumble on the Grey's Anatomy set. In short, Isaiah Washington picks Patrick Dempsey up like he's a little doll and shakes him.

But before you go all, You, go, Dr. Burke! (as I almost did), note the Defamer retelling of the tale alleges that Mr. Washington threw a little mean at T.R. Knight, too. You did not go snarling at George, now did you, Dr. Burke? Don't make me go Callie on your ass, sir. Because I will.

Defamer's source would also like us to believe that the dust-up had something to do with Mr. Washington's pride about his theatah training and how it should be recognized over Mr. Dempsey's up-through-the-B-movie-mill-ness. To which I can only say: Am I the only one who watched Ghost Ship last night on Spike TV? Any man who snogs a CGI ghost as Gabriel Byrne drowns in a vat of seawater in the background cannot be all throwing around his acting credentials. Cannot.

And to think that all this time, I had my money on Chandra Wilson to clean somebody's clock. (I'm not saying who, but I'm saying said clock-cleaning just might have taken place while someone was doing a whiny voice-over.)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Hey! I'm an (imaginary) celebrity aunt!

Mazel tov me, everybody!

Jake just called with the news: Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard just welcomed into the world my (imaginary) celebrity niece, Ramona!

A normal name, people! A normal name! How?!? When?!? Thank heavens they're raising her in NYC, because can you imagine how hard those Hollywood kids would come down on her for her freakishly sensible name?

And if you tell me her middle name is Quimby, I shall swoon.