Kvetch amongst yourselves

We here at M&C have made the mistake of getting and/or staying at jobs. (At last count, MeiMei had, like, twelve.) We apologize for our temporary inability to post due to the interference of the "real" world.

We're aware Leo was beaned on the noggin by a beer bottle this weekend, and it pains us not to be able to write more extensively at this time. It really shouldn't surpise any who know us that we're opting for (some) sleep at night, instead of fulfilling our journalistic responsibilities.

Short of an actual emergency (TomKat, I'm looking at you), we'll be up and running again next week.

Our bad. We miss you, too.

Note to cults

Stars make poor role models. I'll just go cancel my own pretend engagement, then.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20050616/111894630000.html

Kept is a keeper for this celeb slut

I can't say that VH1 made me a celebrity whore, but its recent programming is not helping.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8049817/

First off, Tyra should have gotten Jerry Hall for ANTM, but she probably can't afford her, in more ways than one.

Second, Rachel Fuller is my new heroine. To wit, this exchange, as they're watching secret footage of the contestants flirting with paid actresses at a pub:

Jerry: He's sticking something right in her mouth! [Presumably, a lime. There were tequila shots involved.] I would never let some stranger put something in my mouth like that.

Rachel: Well, that's because you have boundaries.

Rachel, when Jerry gives you a day off, please come and be our new best friend. Thanks!

Did you HAVE to ruin the Eiffel Tower?

Go somewhere else with your precipitous proposals! How do you say "swab liberally with bleach" in French?

http://www.zap2it.com/movies/news/story/0,1259,---26041,00.html

I believe I'll take the credit for those ratings, thank you

30 Days rocks the ratings.

http://tv.zap2it.com/tveditorial/tve_main/1,1002,271%7C95877%7C1%7C,00.html

I haven't seen Supersize Me. When the word of mouth on a movie is, "It made me nauseous," I have some trouble working up the motivation, even when it's for a good cause. (Selfish. Yes.) So this was my first exposure to Spurlock's documentary techniques -- but, man, that message was simple. Was SM that simple? (I wish changing people's minds was that simple.) Also, I think I have a romantic notion that independent filmmakers, particularly documentary makers, live hard scrabble lives. But -- this was the first time he'd taken a bus to work every day? And realized that . . . other . . . people . . . do it. . . every . . . single . . . day. The humanity! The humanity!

His fiance, though, with the walking all the way to work in the early, dark winter mornings, just to save them $2.50 each day? Rules.

Give this man a phone book, please

Because I have a feeling he would make the reading of it hilarious.

http://tv.zap2it.com/tveditorial/tve_main/1,1002,271%7C95855%7C1%7C,00.html

Again, with the metaphors

I know, I know. I just keep posting about how scifi stands as a metaphor for larger society. I am a geek. Deal with it.

But here this is done with a subtle, surprising, and, yes, mildly Episode III-bashing (suh-weet) way.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/17/opinion/17stephenson.html?pagewanted=1&th&emc=th

Whoa, did anybody else catch that critique?

Okay, it may just be me (seeing as I have the fait-accompli conversion of Katie Holmes on the brain), but did anybody else watching the second episode of the new season of The 4400 on Sunday catch the striking parallels between the 4400 Center and Scientology?

The episode involved a telepathic returnee recruited by the NTAC to infiltrate the Center. At the Center, he is administered psychological profile tests, and then (mini-spoiler) the medication he's been taking to reduce the voices in his head to a manageable level are confiscated from his room, because, as he's told by one of the Center representatives, he needs to undergo a cleansing and they're just a crutch he's been misinformed he needs. Obviously, the rep says, he needs to retake the course about purging and cleansing the body.

Somebody over at that series has chutzpah. Applause, say I. Applause.

For those of you who don't know what show I'm talking about, please join the love.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/12/arts/television/12aurt.html?

Straight from the horse's behind

http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1069956_1_0_,00.html

EW talks to Tom Cruise. Read it, retch and laugh.

Don't make me laugh too hard

Funniest thing I've read all day and I edit comics for a living.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=847524

Our little girl's all grownp

My favorite angry female is all grown up, sort of.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=834593&page=1

This isn't mean nor catty, but I had to post this because I felt like I grew up alongside Alanis. We're the same age, so listening to her songs through the years as they debut helped me to reflect on my own life. Plus, I really like her curly hair.

"The next phase is almost complete..."

Is anyone else having a Stepford Wives-flashback? Ironically, Nicole Kidman starred in the remake:

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,16745,00.html?tnews

Katie, darling, I know Catholics girls start much too late (thanks, Mr. Joel), but converting to a religion where aliens land on earth (among other things) is truly not the right way to go. From one Catholic girl to another: run, run like the wind!

The larger plan

I see now that the Universe put me on a jury recently for a reason. So that this would make perfect sense to me:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8062350/

Really? I mean, really? Not guilty? Huh.

Interesting how the headline MSNBC went with is "Not Guilty," not "Innocent." Also interesting: the photo up there as I write this is him waving, ostensibly good-bye, and the articles not focusing on the actual trial are essentially obituaries of Jackson's career. One's even titled, "Remembering the star." It's like they had the guilty articles written, paused to do a search and replace, and ran them as-is. Creepy. And also? Wrong. I don't think Michael Jackson's surrendering his place in America's lurid imagination any time soon. Does he even want to, ultimately? Even bad attention is, after all, attention. (See, Mapother, T. C. the Third).

Just in case M&C is not enough for you

Moviemaker blog alert!

http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-ca-directorsblogs12jun12,0,3402265.story?coll=cl-home-more-channels

And for those of you who too paranoid to register for online news services:

http://www.kongisking.net

http://www.bluetights.net

http://www.serenitymovie.com

Hype about plastic surgery hype

Yes, this article talks about how everybody's talking about something else, thereby, talking about it but, you know, indirectly, so not really, so don't be all accusing them of exploitation or nuthin'.

Mostly, I think I just have a rule about linking to anything that mentions Defamer, because I have a crush on that website.

http://www.calendarlive.com/printedition/calendar/cl-et-plastic11jun11.story

And to be the enabler that I am:

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com

Okay, maybe we should try reverse psychology

Because the outrage and the scorn are not working.

Katie hearts Scientology.

Tom says "It's gonna happen," about marriage.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8185031/

Okay, so I'm not really practiced at this, but I'm going to take a different tack.

I'm, uh, really excited, nay, ebulliant that Katie's found her way and that there are no more unpleasant obstacles to their union.

Did it work?

It ain't just a cute nickname

Dude, like, seriously, they're called 'killer bees' for a reason. I don't care how many you wear on your face.

http://tv.zap2it.com/tveditorial/tve_main/1,1002,271958081,00.html

Dear J.K. Rowling

I take back the part where I danged you. Please fly me to Scotland, too.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=833173

How to work the Late Night TV

How to not unwork the not un-early. . . okay, I'm a little hung up on this now.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=836035

Why Brad Bitt Matters

To people other than me. Because otherwise, meh. As far as I'm concerned, he's bringing Angelina down.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/wireStory?id=838418

Two-pronged attack

I'm really sorry that I didn't bother to stay up to be brainwashed, I mean, "convinced of their true love and the Tombot's staggering normalcy" on either channel.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20050609/111834396000.html

Or do I mean, I'm not unsorry? This double negative thing is trickier than it seems.

How underwhelming

This expression of devotion ranks up there with "I don't not like him."

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20050610/111841158000.html

See also: "He doesn't make me hurl . . . very much."

I know, I know, I wasn't satisfied with her hyperbolic, "He's fantastic"/"I'm the luckiest girl in the world" declarations. They seemed scripted.

I guess that what I'm saying is that my opinion of Tom has not been changed by this affair (loopy and off-putting once, loopy and off-putting always), but my opinion of Katie steadily, unwillingly degrades, and with it, as always happens when an actor I didn't not admire goes sour, my sense of my own judgment is called into question: What was it I saw, again? And more importantly, will I see it ever again?

Allusions R Us, or Use Your Allusions

This website is way smarter than I am. I hate that. (Which is to say, I must consult it frequently and pass the knowledge off as my own.)

http://www.newsaic.com/ftvindex.html

Note to self

L.A. County contemplating beefing up paparazzi stalking laws.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-paparazzi10jun10.story

I mean, you ram one celebrity with your vehicle, and people just spaz, don't they?

If that jacket could talk

What I find most disturbing about this interview is not that Crowe is still justifying THROWING A PHONE AT SOMEONE under the guise of an apology, but that he's wearing the same jacket they hauled him off to prison in.

Tell me he had it dry-cleaned in between.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8149998/

Christian Bale scares me

And I haven't even seen American Psycho.

My impression of him from WonderCon is that he's personally more Psycho and Machinist than I'd previously suspected. I'd thought that intenseness, that focus, that fanaticism was acting -- but it turns out that singing cheerfully in Newsies? His best work. The rest of the time, he's just being himself.

Still, points in his favor: born in Wales, owns lots of dogs. Nevertheless, I'm just not sure I'd let him babysit my children.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8148191/

My boyfriend's back

...and he better start trouble...

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,16720,00.html

Actually, he's more Seren's boyfriend than mine, but we tend to share these kinds of things. Bet you didn't know that about us, did you? ;)

Get your ears checked, people!

This is a public service announcement reminding folks that one should not take their hearing for granted. Please get tested periodically so that this may never happen again:

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,16717,00.html

There's guilty pleasure pop music (as Seren previously posted) and then there's travesty. This, my friend, falls into the latter.

Doh! It's about time!

For all you Simpsons fans out there:

http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,16718,00.html

It's got to be better than its comtemporaries: South Park and Beavis and Butthead, right? Right? Hello?

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=193280>1=6657

My, you had fabulous legs, among other things. :)

See? Not embracing.

http://www.cafepress.com/mccam/628896

Again, with the dying.

Dang you, Rowling!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8130224/

Impulse control

Apparently, it's underrated among movie stars.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8116131/

Okay, now all the "normal" is freakin' me out

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8109286/

They rebooted

Tom's back to "normal."

http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-et-cruise6jun06,0,6714428.story

I'm not part of the media, and I am not embracing. Not that billionaires live or die on my embracing or non-embracing, but I'm just saying.

This show has no future; watch while you still can

I hate it when decency, integrity, and humor collide (see: Stewart, J., so not my hero), so I probably won't be watching this, and I recommend that none of you watch it either.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/05/arts/television/05rhod.html

(That's sarcasm, people. I know it's difficult to tell from my normal tone of voice. In fact, I'm pretty sure sarcasm is my normal tone of voice.)

Attempts to decipher the TomBot

The whole world watches in horror and he just spins his wheels faster. The comparison to Michael Jackson and Mel Gibson here is disturbing:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8077790/

This piece is less cutting, but nicely summarizes the suspicious details:

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/JustSaying/story?id=798031&page=1

Strange, uh, panelfellows

Kevin Spacey, Robert Evans, and Method Man. Kevin Spacey is the new Paula Abdul, I'm telling you.

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/ap/20050601/111763356000.html

Spin reaches new heights

The excuse formerly known as "creative differences" has become "nothing is more important than family."

http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/eo/20050602/111775668000.html

Nothing is more important than family?!?

I think I have to go lie down now.