More disturbing ... or just plain silly?

They actually did it. Katie didn't run screaming from the castle nor did Joshua Jackson scale the walls, give her some strong coffee to revive her and together run out, a la The Graduate. Nope. They actually got married

I can't deny how pretty Katie looks, but honestly, that dress seems like a throw back to prom, especially the neckline. And would it kill her to stand up straight? Maybe she needs to take more vitamins to strengthen her back. :)

From the disturbing to the silly ... but still disturbing

When I heard about the silent birth thing, I thought, speedily, "draconian," but this has me floored for an adjective. Reuters is running with a story of Scientology's traditional wedding vows:

In the old-fashioned language that marks the Traditional version, the groom is reminded that "girls" need "clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" — and is asked to provide them all. The bride, in turn, is told that "young men are free and may forget" their promises.

It's so ... insane. No, that's not quite entirely it. Infantilizing? Yes. Fetishistic? Yes.

It all sounds so much like the accessories that would come with Scientology Bride Barbie, doesn't it?

What?!? And also, what?!?

Could someone please explain this to me? Fox is broadcasting an interview with O.J. Simpson, with the sterling title, "If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened".

When I saw the commercial for the show in the midst of (a more-than-usually preposterous) House last night, I thought for a brief second that I was watching some MadTV parody. Like, seriously, O.J. Simpson would go on national television and tell us hypothetically only how he theoretically, allegedly, supposedly committed two horrifically violent murders?

Could someone please explain to me how hypothetically, theoretically this does anyone anywhere any good? And how does this rhetorical exercise not amount to admitting perjury?

P.S., Dear, LA District Attorney's office, please TIVO this. I won't be watching, but it'd be nice if you did.

So it isn't just that I'm bitter that they stole Nate Corddry

The whole will-it-or-won't-it-cancellation saga of Studio 60 has been settled, in favor of won't -- which just pains me deeply.

Not that I could have really told you why. Other than crying to the heavens "This from the man who gave me Sports Night?", I haven't been able to put my finger on exactly why I find that show not only dismal, but offensive to me in some basic way.

Proving both her writing and analytical chops (as usual), Linda Holmes (Television without Pity's MissAlli) gets it absolutely, sparklingly right:

Despite aiming for intelligence and meaning, the show simply shows no signs of knowing enough about comedy to be credible.

Television and the internet are all full of beloved comedy institutions analogous to the fictional one in the show. Obviously, there is “Saturday Night Live” itself, but don't forget “The Daily Show,” “Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” and other outlets like The Onion. Even a moderately media-savvy viewer has read a lot about them. Every time Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert is interviewed, every time we see the endless list of writers when Conan’s staff is up for an Emmy, and every time another book about “SNL” is released, we learn a little more about what these environments are like. And what have we learned? They are explosively creative, collaborative, jealous, and fixated on one thing to the point of madness: being funny. . . .

The show has been criticized for pretending the stakes could really be as high on an “SNL”-style show as they are in the White House, which is clearly nonsense. The stakes are enormously high for creative people, who drink, cut their own ears off, and go mad because they want so badly to be brilliant.

What "Studio 60" needs in order to be successful is a working vocabulary and understanding of the kind of workplace in which it is set. Without that, it cannot work. It's not that viewers aren't willing to care about comedy, but because no one in the audience can care if it isn't even compelling to the characters.

Blue light special on white trash exes!

I shouldn't be as excited about this as I am. But I am.

Britney Spears is divorcing Kevin Federline!

Yes, I just used an exclamation point. Apparently, I am less jaded than previously reported.

Or is inter-network dating frowned on?

Neil Patrick Harris comes out.

Also, tells T.R. Knight: "Call me!" (Or maybe that's just what I'd be doing if I were a gay actor in primetime right about now.)

Worst news day ever?

Dear News Media:

Did you not get the message that I was having a rough day?

What is UP with the displeasing revelations, then? In the immortal words of Culture Club, do you really want hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?

Mission accomplished, then, you heartless, heartless fiends.

Topher Grace is "dating" Ivanka Trump.

Does anyone mind if I go lie down?

I feel kind of nauseous and a little dizzy.

"Brooke Shields, Katie Holmes now fast friends".

They've gotten to Brooke. It's only a matter of time before they take Grier out. The battle is lost! The battle is lost!

And does anyone buy that, among other things, Grey's Anatomy brought them together? If Grey's Anatomy is code for "the men with the bright lights and the sensory deprivation," then yes, I believe them.

Is it possible that this is a case of "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"? I'll think about that while I lie here with the washcloth on my head.