Celebrity Matchmaker 2: Attack of the Cloones

Oh, yes, I did just make a pun that bad. Accept it and move on.

ABC continues to mine a rich vein -- this time, fussing over George Clooney, in case, heaven forbid, things don't work out with him and Jon Stewart.

Sadly, there's slightly less charm to this matchmaking attempt: Ann Coulter is delightfully mischeivous, but Pamela Anderson . . . Heidi Fleiss?

Apparently, the lack of imagination that leads to no good roles for women extends to imaginary relationships.

Is Nicole Kidman really that serious about Keith Urban? Really? The graceful and gracious Joan Allen is close to single, per imdb.com. And in this hypothetical context, I don't think we need to take the rumors about Jodie Foster as an impediment. To say nothing of the run for George's money that the nimbly talented Sandra Oh would offer?

And that's just off the top of my head. Help me out, folks -- we can do better than they did.