Year 2020: Romeo and Juliet Hollywood-Style

Kept apart by their warring familes, Papaya Cruise and Chris Henchy, Jr., have to keep their love a secret.

Papaya: Oh, Chris, you're so real. You're nothing like those underdiagnosed automatons my dad makes me hang around with at the Scientology Center.

Chris: I feel the same way about you, Papaya. You're nothing like those well-adjusted, antidepressant-popping girls my mom keeps introducing me to.

Papaya: Kiss me.

Chris: Darling!

Papaya: What was that noise?

Chris: Dear God, the Scientologists have found us! I must flee Verona. I love you, Papaya, but I love my meds more!

Papaya: Stay, my love, and we shall overdose on your lithium!

Chris: Can you do that?

Papaya: I don't know. I've been raised without so much as children's aspirin.

Chris: Okay. Let's give it a shot. (Raising the vial of poison high.) To eternity!

Papaya: To love everlasting! Hold me, my love. Mmm, they taste kind of minty.

Chris: Yes, it's children's litihium, darling.

Papaya: Mmm, minty.

And scene.

Year 2005: Brooke Shields, pregnant again and planning her pharmacological recovery as we speak. Go, Brooke!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9855311/