Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Brangelina brood burgeons

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt's baby, per People.

Also, as we knew earlier, she's petitioned to have her current children's names changed to incorporate Pitt's.,1259,---27592,00.html

Look, I know that I shouldn't have expected much from the girl who decided to marry and adopt a child with multi-married lunatic, Billy Bob Thornton (I'm pretty sure he married the same stripper twice), a decision that was proved rapidly and decisively wrong, when he left her the second Maddox got on the plane for the U.S.

But I did. I expected better.

Maybe I felt that the marriage to Johnny Lee Miller, which even as it failed still felt sweet and hopeful, balanced out the Thornton madness. Maybe I was swayed by the canny self-marketing she did via the United Nations and that clearly transparent "feed the world" ethic she selfishly champions. I think that maybe all that propaganda had convinced me that she had that extremely rare quality in a Hollywood lifer -- judgement.


When Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow broke up, I was sad -- not for them, but for us. If they'd married each other, it would have confined their boring, smug, condescending genes to a single bloodline. They wouldn't have gotten their Pittness or Paltrowness all over the rest of us. But now, it's everywhere. Gwyneth's taken out Coldplay, whose albums I would have had to burn now had I ever purchased them. And, thanks to Brad, I will never, ever again be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of Tomb Raider, because his dullness, his blankness will have leached out Angelina's color.

I hope they're "happy."

(P.S. Still watching Tomb Raider, however, because Noah Taylor, enough said.)


Post a Comment

<< Home