Where I've been

To all four of our loyal readers,

I really have meant to post more, really. I knew that M&C was in the more than capable hands of Seren. But I feel as if I owe an explanation for my obvious neglect. I could say I've been working like a dog, trying to climb the corporate ladder of daytime television. I could say I've been spending what little free time I have with my un-appreciative family. I could also say I've been attending and planning such events like baby showers, bridal showers, bachelorette parties and funerals. I could say I've been a recluse.

Or I could tell you the truth.

I've been riding the subways, befriending mole people and the like. I've been sweating off three pounds a day just standing on underground subway platforms, thinking that yanking out my fingernails was preferable to this heat. But ultimately, what I've been doing is being mean and catty: pushing little old ladies out my way; stealing seats from blind/fat/or pregnant women; tripping hobos and laughing; cussing at any male who dares look at me; swimming in my community pool and finding a chunk of hair and holding it up, saying loudly while looking at the offending person, "Going bald, now are we?" and telling a size 50 woman who pushed me (rudely) off a subway bench, "Hey, if your ass weren't so BIG then maybe we'd all fit onto this bench!"

This is why I haven't been reading up on pop culture. But I promise to be more diligent in the future. Just don't cross me in the subway.